Read my diary and I'll make you howl!

On the 18th of July

Mom barked me out of bed this morning, saying that I needed to get out of her fur for a few hours. It was that or help her with the housework, and since yesterday I spent all day sweeping the attic... sooo much dust!... I was out of the doggie-door before she could say boo. It's hard not to feel screeching jealous of Clawd and Clawdeen, cause they always seem to be busy during the summer while I'm stuck at home playing cobweb cleanup. It's tough being the little sister of two of the most popular monsters on campus—Clawdeen has her pack of friends, and Clawd has his bluddies and Draculaura, too. Meanwhile I texted my beast friend, Twyla, to see if she wanted to come lurk in the park with me today, but she can be pretty nocturnal. Not that I mind moonlighting with her, but sometimes a ghoul wants to get out in the sun, yanno? I took my soccer ball and got some solo practice in, but it's just not as clawsome by yourself... it made me feel kind of lame, actually. I did see Venus sitting by the trees at one end of the park, but it seemed like she was having a really intense conversation with the oaks and I didn't want to interrupt. I like Venus, but you have to watch out for her when she's on the environmental warpath, or she'll totally talk your ear off. Anyway, after a little while I got distracted listening... okay, eavesdropping... on her (who knew trees had so much drama?) and kicked the ball onto the casketball court where some older monsters were playing. They got fangry, and I wound up packing up and going home with my tail between my legs. Now I wish I'd ignored them and kept playing cause now I'm bored again. Sooo. Boooored. I'd even listen to Venus lecture me about the dangers of styrofoam... at least it would be something to do!

On the 23rd of July

It's hard not to feel funky when everyone besides me has things figured out for themselves. Clawdeen has fashion and Clawd has sports, and they both seem to just know what they want. Mom and Dad say I shouldn't compare myself to them, or anyone else, but that's such parent advice that I don't feel like it should count. Besides, it's not like I don't know what I want to do... well, okay, it IS that, but it's also that I want to do everything?? Like, once I spent two weeks trying to make a viral video for FrightTube. Then the week after that I decided that it was totally my destiny to be a superstar singer. Then three weeks later I was totally focused on my future as a Howlympian athlete! And I haven't stopped wanting to do any of that stuff, but it's too hard to do it all, and impossible to pick only one, especially cause I don't know what I'm really good at yet. I feel like I'm getting to a point where I choose or I lose. I mean, what if I discover my hidden talents too late to do anything with them? It'd be so, so tragic. That's why I've been trying so much different stuff this year—music lessons, dance class, everything I can get my claws on. Something will click sooner or later, right?

On the 29th of July

Today I heard... okay maybe eavesdropped on... Draculaura telling Clawd about a big open mic poetry scream going on at the Coffin Bean at the end of the summer. I went on their web site page to check it out, and now I think I might want to try it out, too? I mean I've written some poetry, and I'm always accidentally rhyming all the time. And my hip-hop dance classes have totally infused me with the muse... see what I mean? Yeah... I think I want to do this! But I gotta text Twyla and see if she'll come out for moral support. It's at night, and the Coffin Bean is usually pretty dark, so she'll have no excuse not to come—besides, she loves their cupquakes.

On the 30th of July

I finally talked Twyla into going to the Maul with me. If you let her she'd probably stay in the shadows all summer, but lucky for her, I won't let lurking boogiemen lie! We went to the fur salon, and I picked out some new colors for my 'do—I've been letting it go natural lately, but that doesn't stop me from switching up my style all the time. I wound up buying like five different colors because I couldn't decide on just one. After that we split a big booberry smoothie at the food corpse and we talked for a long while. Well... mostly I talked, Twy listened because she's a clawsome listener. She let me howl about how I was supposed to pick what I wanted to do with the rest of my life if I couldn't even pick a hair color? I asked her what she thought I should do and she got this really freaky intense look, like she was thinking hard, and then she flicked my ear and said, "I think what you really want to do is plan out your whole life before you live it, and you can't do that, so stop stressing out." Which is both good advice and totally useless because you can't stop stressing out just because you want to, like, when has that ever worked in all monster history? But I do feel better, somehow. I think it helped to just talk about it to someone who gets me and doesn't laugh when I say dumb stuff. She also agreed to come cheer me on at the poetry scream. There's a reason Twyla is my beastie. :)

On the 10th of August

Clawd and Clawdeen actually weren't busy today for once. Even though they're a pain in the fang, hanging with them can still be scary-fun. Sometimes. Clawd talked us into playing a pick-up soccer game in the backyard, and Clawdeen didn't even get growly when she fell into one of the holes Clawd made along the fence... he likes to bury things in the dirt and dig them up later. I think it's a boy thing. We've all got game, and later we did get into an argument about who had the most points—we'd said we weren't keeping score, but no duh, of course we all were! But no one got their fur in a frizz about it for a change. After a while we were making up the biggest numbers we could think of and howling with laughter. Dad said later he almost didn't want to call us inside for dinner because he loves seeing us act like one big happy pack. I think he misses when all my even bigger brothers and sisters were still at home... Mom teases that he's got empty den syndrome. I miss my older brothers and sisters sometimes, too, but they aren't that far away. (Plus, now that they've moved out, the wait for the bathroom is a LOT shorter.)

On the 13 of August

I think I'm getting cold paws. The poetry scream is in just a few days, and my brain has been going all over the place since I said I'd go. What if I get stage fright? What if I totally blank and forget the whole poem? What if I'm not even that good? ... Ugh, okay, I texted Twyla, and she convinced me not to give up the ghost. Plus she pointed out that since it's open mic, I can always just show up and decide if I want to go ahead with it when I get there. Sometimes I wish I could borrow Clawdeen's confidence, not just her clothes... she never seems scared of anything.

On the 18th of August.

Whoa, I'm still shaking. The Coffin Bean was WAY more packed than I thought it would be. There had to be dozens of monsters there, and I was a total casket case even with my beastie at my side until I ran into Clawd and Draculaura. I sort of hadn't told them I'd be there, so they were scary surprised to see me. And then they found out I was sort of thinking about maybe performing, they wouldn't let me get away with not doing it. So I signed up and waited for my turn, even though I was a so howling nervous I could barely hear the poets on before me, and then it was my turn. I was so wound up that my eyes were practically crossing with fright, but I saw my bro and Draculaura waving from the audience, and Twy giving me the claws-up, I sucked it up and read my poem. I had it memorized and gave it everything I had, and the monsters in the crowd really seemed to dig it. I didn't like completely bring the house down, but when even the zombies slow-clapped at the end and Clawd howled and whooped for me it felt just a little bit epic. Then Draculaura went on with this mega-romantic and sweet poem and she had the whole audience wailing like banshees. Even I got a little teary-eyed, and Clawd was whimpering into his coffincino... he made me promise not to tell anyone lol. Of course she won first place for the night—not that I'm moaning. She totally deserved it, and I came in third, which made me feel pretty clawsome about the whole thing. Even Clawd was patting me on the back and bragging that I was his little sis to anyone who'd listen... which was embarrassing, but whatever, kind of nice too. :) I gave Twyla the biggest hug for staying with me, too, especially since crowds are one of her fangups. I have to say, I really liked tackling my fears... it makes me think maybe I'm ready for a whole new me next year! Watch out, Monster High!